The dog wakes at the sound of an approaching vehicle and rises from what’s left of the front porch. The rest of the house has been completely flattened.

Deputy Chuck enters the yard in his cruiser and gets out of his car totally flabbergasted and stepping into a fresh cow pie.

Deputy Chuck

Hello?!! Anybody home?!!!

The silence is eerie. The dog approaches the deputy and whines for attention.

deputy chuck

What happened here, buddy?

He calls in for backup.

later:

58  EXT RATCLIFF FARMHOUSE – day/later                     58

THE YARD IS FULL OF EMERGENCY VEHICLES. pOLICE CARS, AMBULANCES, COUNTY CORORNER. HEALTH inspector.

What remains of the Ratcliff family is loaded into a single ambulance.

The Bull County Health Inspector approaches Sheriff Cooter.

pete mcintosh

By the looks of all the cow manure around, I’d say it was a stampede. Wouldn’t you, Sheriff Cooter?

Sheriff Cooter

That’s none of your business, McIntosh. Don’t you have some taco stand to inspect somewhere?

pete mcintosh

(Proudly)

I’m supposed to meet Dr. Hollingsworth here. She should be here any moment.

continued

58  continued                                              58

sheriff cooter

That’s just great! You hinder my investigation and you both go to jail. This isn’t a case for the health department.

The ambulance passes with sirens blaring.

pete mcintosh

The Ratcliffs don’t look too healthy, do they?

sheriff cooter

You’ve been fairly warned…

Jack’s pickup clatters up the driveway.

sheriff cooter

All y’all better stay out of my way.

Jack and Amanda approach hand-in-hand.

sheriff cooter

Ain’t that sweet?

Jack is slightly embarrassed. Pete is devastated.

jack

Hello, Sheriff. Pete.

Pete nervously brushes back his hair.

pete

Hello, Dr. Hollingsworth. Long time.

She graciously extends her hand.

amanda

Yes, it has been.

She looks at the devastation.

amanda

What happened here? Was there a tornado?

pete

There was no tornado, Doctor.

continued

58  continued                                              58

sheriff

You can shut up now, Pete.

jack

What exactly did happen here, Sheriff?

Pete points out all the manure.

Pete

It’s obvious to me; there was some sort of a stampede.

Sheriff

I’m gonna leave y’all with your fancy scientific theories and go about my business of solving this mystery. Y’all have a nice day…

He tips his hat as he leaves being careful to step around a fresh cow pie.

amanda

Charming gentleman.

jack

That’s no gentleman.

She opens her bag.

Amanda

I want to take some samples.

Pete is eager.

pete mcintosh

Anything I can to do help?

She removes a few tubes and bottles from her bag and passes them to him.

Amanda

I’m sorry but I’m afraid I don’t have any gloves that would fit you.

pete

That’s okay. I don’t mind.

He fingers a steamy pile of cow manure as he clumsily dribbles a wad of it into a test tube.

59  EXT FLORIDA SWAMP – DAY                                59

Jack and amanda take soil samples, photos, and plaster cow tracks. Amanda drops a measuring tape into depth of a hoof track.

amanda

Eight and a half inches!

She gives a low whistle.

Amanda

The animal that made this is easily pushing a ton and a half.

Jack finds this a little hard to believe.

jack

That’s twice normal size.

amanda

And growing.

For the first time, they notice bones strewn about the swamp. A set of ribs hang from a branch.

jack

Look at that.

amanda

They look like sheep bones.

jack

And dogs…I think…

Amanda slips a sample into a test tube.

AMANDA

There’s some chemical or radiation that’s causing this effect in these animals.

They hear distant drumming.

jack

You know, there could be another possibility.

amanda

Please let’s try to remain sensible.

continued

59  continued                                              59

jack

Voodoo. Witches. A lot of strange things have happened in these parts.

Amanda retrieves a mysterious long stringy substance from the muck.

amanda

But not nearly as strange as this, I’m sure.

She holds it up for Jack to see. He has to fight to keep from gagging.

60  int FARNSWOOD FARM/BARN – day                          60

Sally is brushing Jasper the Bull’s tail with long deliberate strokes. She hums as she works.

Sally

You’re going to be the prettiest bull at the fair, Jasper. I just know you’re going to win a blue ribbon.

She looks over at Bossie’s empty stall.

sally

I’m sorry your old friend won’t be with you this year, buddy.

Jasper grunts in agreement.

61  ext FARNSWOOD FARM/BARN – day                          61

Jack backs up a trailer to the barn. Sally approaches bundled up in an overcoat with Jasper in tow. With Weaver feed in her hand, he trots to keep up.

Sally

He’s ready, Daddy.

Jack stands back and gives an admiring look. He walks around the old bull eyeing him up and down.

continued

61  continued                                              61

jack

He’s ready alright. How about you?

sally

I’m a little nervous. This is his first time without Bossie. They were a team.

jack

I know they were, darlin’. Just like you and me…

He gives Jasper a firm slap on the shank and tries to coax him into the trailer.

Jasper is much more interested in what’s in Sally’s hand than in walking up a ramp.

jack

Coax him in, Sally.

She goes to the front of the trailer and sticks her arm through the slats. She opens her hand to show Jasper the feed.

Sally

Here, Jasper! Come here, boy!

Jasper spots the Weaver Feed in Sally’s palm. He snorts and stamps.

Suddenly, he charges up the ramp and into the trailer, knocking Jack back against the barn wall.

Sally barely gets her arm out the trailer before Jasper slams against the front panel.

Jack slams the gate shut. Sally stands back, wide-eyed.

Jasper is furious at the trick. The trailer rocks with his anger.

Honey Babe runs in circles, yapping like crazy.

Sally disappears into the barn.

Jack

Sally!

continued

61  continued                                              61

Amanda runs up with a large hypodermic needle.

amanda

What happened?

Jasper continues his rampage.

jack

He just went crazy on us. I’m not sure you can get close enough to tranquilize him.

Amanda timidly approaches the trailer.

Sally appears with a bucket of Weaver Feed and walks to the feed bin at front of the trailer.

Sally

There’s no need to tranquilize him. Just like there was no need to shoot Bossie. All he wants is this.

She pours the feed thru a flap door. Jasper is immediately satisfied.

jack

Sally… You know I did what I had to do…

Sally

I know, Daddy. It’s okay. Can we go to the fair now?

jack

Of course, we can, baby. Maybe we oughta take along some more feed, just in case…

Amanda secures the hypodermic needle.

Jack

Amanda? You want to go watch Old Jasper win a blue ribbon?

Amanda puts her arm around Sally and beams down at her.

Amanda

I wouldn’t miss it for the world…

continued

61  continued                                              61

jack

Well, then ladies, let’s get on our ponies!

He opens the pickup doors for the ladies.

Amanda lets Sally in first to sit next to her daddy.

62  int jack’s truck – day                                 62

Sally straps on her seatbelt. Jack turns on the ignition.

sally

Wait a minute, Daddy.

She reaches under the seat and pulls out two white cowboy hats.

sally

This one’s for you…and…

She places the hat on Amanda.

sally

This one’s for me…

She places on her own hat.

Jack turns his ball cap so that the bill is in back.

Jack

Now, we’re ready! Yee-ha!

63  ext FARNSWOOD FARM – day                               63

REAR ANGLE: Jack punches the gas.

Tires spin in the gravel.

Amanda waves her hat out the window.

amanda

Yee-ha!!!

Honey Babe chases them to the end of the drive and sits to wait their return.

64  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS – DAY                      64

The diverse population of Bull County is well-represented. Cowboy hats and pickup trucks. Mariachis, Salsa and Western Swing.

Jack pulls into the lot and eases his pickup into reverse. He carefully backs the trailer between a limousine and a fancy oversized cattle carrier hitched to a brand new tractor heavily decorated with Weaver’s Cattle Feed logos.

The trio jumps out and excitedly starts to unload gear. The door of the limousine opens and F.U. Weaver steps out. He smiles broadly at Sally.

F.U. weaver

Hello, little champ!

He turns to Jack.

f.u. weaver

I’m glad to see she’s okay, Jack. You’ve had your share of troubles.

He gives Amanda an admiring eye:

f.u. weaver

And who is this lovely lady?

Amanda steps up.

Jack

Amanda, this is F.U. Weaver, mayor of Bullville.

The mayor takes her lovely hand, perfect for kissing, but she retrieves it at the last second.

jack

Mayor, this is Dr. Amanda Hollingsworth of Seminole College.

F.u. weaver

When I heard talk that some doctor was down here from the college, I surely didn’t picture someone as pretty as you.

amanda

Thank you, mayor…

continued

64  continued                                              64

f.u. weaver

How long to you plan to grace our fair county?

amanda

I’m here on research. You know how that can go.

f.u. weaver

Indeed I do. And speaking of that, I’ve got a little surprise for y’all.

He chirps his Nextel. Chad Tanner, foreman, comes back.

Chad

Yeah, go ahead, boss.

f.u. weaver

Let Babe out.

Another chirp.

Chad

(Radio V.O.)

You got it boss!

A squad of Weaver’s Cowpoke Thugs appears and stands in formation at the rear of Babe’s trailer. Chad pushes a button.

With mechanical precision, huge hydraulic shock absorbers slowly protrude from the gate as it lowers into a ramp position.

jack

Pretty fancy…

f.u. weaver

You think?

Chad swings open a heavy duty safety bar. He attempts to coax Babe down the ramp.

chad

Stand back! C’mon, Babe! Let’s go!

Nothing.

continued

64  contined                                               64

f.u. weaver

Maybe she needs a snack.

chad

I’d rather not.

f.u. weaver

Let me put it this way: give her a snack. I ain’t got all day.

chad

Yes, sir.

He pushes another button and a feed tray slides out from beneath the trailer rig.

He scoops up a handful of Weaver Feed and reluctantly approaches the ramp.

chad

I ain’t liking this…

He stands at the bottom of the ramp with the handful of feed nervously extended.

The Cowboy Thugs stand ready to run.

Chad

Babe?

Suddenly, four thousand pounds of beef bounds down the ramp, stomping and snorting.

jack

Get back!

Sally screams. Amanda holds her in her arms.

Chad dashes for the corral and barely makes it over the fence. F.U. Weaver jumps into the safety of his limo.

Splinters fly as Babe repeatedly slams her head against the wooden rungs.

Chad throws the handful of feed to the ground before her and she finally calms.

F.U. Weaver rolls down his window and grins at the scene.

continued

64  continued                                              64

F.u. weaver

I ain’t never seen you move so fast, Chad! I oughta bring ol’ Babe around more often.

Amanda

That has to be the largest bovine in the world.

Sally

She’s scary.

f.u. Weaver

If you mean that’s the largest cow in the world, you got that right, honey! Created right here in Bull County, Florida. A blue ribbon winner, for sure.

sally

It takes more than size to win a blue ribbon Mr. Mayor. Jasper’s got more personality than your whole herd put together!

f.u. weaver

I don’t know about that now, little darlin’, but I do know I like your spunk. You remind me a lot of myself…

Sally

I’m nothing like you!

jack

Sally… Watch your manners…

F.u. Weaver

It’s alright, Jack. No offense taken.

Jasper bellows in disagreement.

In the background, Chad and the Cowboys try to shove Babe through the corral gate, struggling and slipping in muck, mud and manure.

Jack and the girls laugh.

continued

64  continued                                              64

Jack

Let’s get Jasper out of there. It was a dusty ride. I bet he could use a drink.

f.u. weaver

And so could I! I’ll see you good folks later on at the judging.

sally

You can watch Jasper win a blue ribbon!

F.U. Weaver has a good belly laugh.

f.u. weaver

I sure like that little girl’s spunk!

A couple of illegals leap out of the way as the limousine makes its quick and dusty exit.

65  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/rodeo – day                65

horses are nervous. cowboys are having a hard time handling fiesty animals. a huge bull refuses to cooperate as a rider preps for the release of the gate.

The ANNOUNCER greets the jacketed crowd that has packed the stands:

announcer

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fiftieth annual Bull County Rodeo. I know it’s a little chilly for this time of year and we appreciate y’all coming out. This year we’re proud to feature some of the finest riders in the state. First out the chute is Bill Collins from Longwood, Florida!

66  EXT rodeo/stall – day                                  66

Bill Collins is hanging on for dear life even before his ride begins.

bill

This son of a bitch is crazy!

continued

66  continued                                              66

cowboy assistant

That’s why you make the four figures.

The Assistant removes his cowboy belt and cinches it around the bull’s testicles. He gives a ferocious yank.

The bull bellows and goes insane.

The gate slams open. Bill Collins is on his face before the bull even steps out.

67  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/rodeo – day                67

The Crowd enjoys the spectacle.

announcer

I think we have a new world record folks: one-tenth of one nano-second!

Bill Collins meekly dusts himself off before retreating to the cowboy dugout.

The RODEO CLOWN climbs the corral fence to get away from the angry bull. Just as he bends over to flop to the other side, the bull rams his horn into his ass and lifts him over his head.

The Crowd cringes at the scene as the bull trots around the arena with his trophy. The Rodeo Clown has passed out.

An OLD GRIZZLED COWBOY comments:

old grizzled cowboy

I’ve seen that before but it wasn’t by accident!

The bull tosses the Clown to the ground who comes to and rolls beneath the fence to safety. A PAIR of COWBOYS ENTERS the arena with ropes. They lasso the bull who drags them around the arena.

More COWBOYS rush in to assist.

68  int BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/judging tent – day         68

JUDGES are going from stall to stall looking over fine specimens.

continued

68  continued                                              68

judge 1

Seems like all our cattle are much larger this year, wouldn’t you say?

judge 2

It seems to be a trend. Calves are born so large these days they all have to be delivered Caesarian.

judge 1

Isn’t it incredible what science has done for us?

They move to Jasper’s stall where Jack, Sally and Amanda all stand proudly.

judge 1

And who does this fine animal belong to?

He gives Sally a broad grin.

judge 1

As if I didn’t know. Hello, Sally. Hello, Jack.

sally

Hey.

jack

How’re you, Bill? How’s Ethel?

He looks over Jasper’s muscle structure. Firmly pats his flanks.

judge 1

She’s doing just fine, Jack. Now that she’s finished all those dag-burn operations.

He raises Jaspers upper lip to check his teeth.

Jasper’s gums are oozing puss around a pair of teeth that appear to be short canines.

The Judge jumps back in surprise.

continued

68  continued                                              68

judge 1

My goodness!

Sally

What is it?

judge 1

(To Judge 2)

Look at this!

He raises Jasper’s lip once more. The canine teeth seem to have grown slightly longer.

Judge 2

Smells horrible!

jack

That’s Weaver Feed. It’s the worst. I gag every time I’m near it.

Judge 2 touches Jasper’s gums.

amanda

How long has he been like this, Sally?

Sally looks horrified.

Sally

This is the first time he’s ever had this. I would know if he had a problem.

amanda

Well, he needs to be treated right away. I have something in my bag in the truck. I’ll go get it.

Jack pulls out his keys and hands them to her.

jack

Here. I’ll stay here with Sally. Can you find the truck?

amanda

How hard can it be?

Sally calms Jasper as the Judges thoroughly inspect every part.

69  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/parking lot – day          69

The parking lot is packed with pickup trucks, all them looking alike: old and rusted out.

She walks through the maze searching every row. She looks up at the parking lot symbols: Sheep, pigs, cows, horses, chickens.

Suddenly, a PAIR of DRUNKEN VAQUEROS appear:

vaquero 1

Hey, senorita! Are you lost? Do you need some help?

Vaquero 2 staggers as he swaggers:

vaquero 2

Si, senorita! Ayuda me por favor!

Amanda keeps her composure as Vaquero 2 rubs against her spilling his drink.

vaquero 2

Te amo!

vaquero 1

He loves you!

amanda

No, I’m not lost. My vehicle is just right over there.

And it is. She makes a mad dash, fumbling with the keys as she runs. The vaqueros enjoy a good chase.

Amanda zigzags between vehicles, momentarily confusing their drunken minds. She reaches the truck and jumps in and locks the doors just as they reach her.

The vaqueros bang on the windows, taunting her.

vaquero 2

Hola, senorita! Te quiero! Te quiero!

She reaches into the glove box and grabs Jack’s pistol. She holds it up and expertly cocks it.

She aims through the glass directly at Vaquero 2’s face:

continued

69  continued                                              69

amanda

Okay. Back off, asshole.

The vaqueros immediately back off and in perfect English lacking accent:

vaquero 2

Hey, girl! Take it easy! We were just playin’!

amanda

I’m not kidding. I’ll shoot your asses! Now leave.

They back away, walking in reverse.

Vaquero 1

Damn, you’re one bad-ass gringa!

vaquero 2

Yeah, I love you!

She jumps out of the truck and levels the weapon on them.

Amanda

Move!

They take off running. She packs the pistol into her vet bag.

70  int BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/judging tent               70

Amanda rushes in with bag in hand. Jasper is contentedly eating away at a fresh helping of feed.

Amanda

How is he?

sally

He’s fine now. Look.

She raises Jasper’s upper lip. All appears completely normal.

sally

All he needed was Weaver Cattle Feed. That’s the best medicine around.

continued

70  continued                                              70

Amanda raises Jasper’s lip for a look for herself.

jack

There’s something very strange about that Weaver Cattle Feed.

amanda

I sent a sample to the school to have it analyzed.

She probes a little further. Jasper wants to go back to eating and forces his head from her grip.

Sally pats her pet gently between the horns as he hungrily devours his food.

The Judges reappear with ribbons in hand.

They present Sally with a blue one.

Judge 1

In recognition for the most unusual bull in Bull County, I bestow on you this blue ribbon.

Sally beams with pleasure.

Sally

Thank you.

Strobes flash as she poses for the local paper.

jack

I’m proud of you, honey.

amanda

So am I.

F.U. Weaver shows appears with a blue ribbon attached to his lapel.

f.u. weaver

Ol’ Babe didn’t do too bad either.

He proudly extends his lapel with his thumb.

F.u. Weaver

First in show!

continued

70  continued                                              70

jack

Congratulations, F.U. You deserve it.

f.u. weaver

I attribute it a lot of careful breeding, research, science, and Weaver Cattle Feed!

amanda

Exactly what are the ingredients in Weaver Cattle Feed?

He hands her a Weaver Cattle Feed brochure.

F.u. weaver

Everything you need to know is right in there, honey. My product will bring an end to starvation in the world.

He reaches inside his jacket for more brochures.

f.u. weaver

Here, pass a few around. You’ll be doing the public some good.

He receives a urgent chirp on his Nextel.

Chad

(Radio V.O.)

Boss?!!

f.u. weaver

Ya’ll have to excuse me, I’ve gotta go take care of some boss business!

He walks away cussing into the phone.

71  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/midway – night             71

cotton candy and tacos. rodeo clowns. mechanical bulls.

rugged cowboys upside-down on roller coasters, screaming like little girls.

Sheriff cooter and his deputies strut from attraction to attraction.

continued

71  continued                                              71

Jack, Amanda and Sally stroll through the excitement and confusion.

Sally holds Amanda’s hand and an over-sized Teddy bear.

Jack

So, where did you learn to shoot like that, Amanda?

Sally proudly holds up the bear.

sally

She shoots better than you, Daddy.

jack

Yeah. Yeah. You already said that.

amanda

A lot of rabbit hunting back in Texas.

jack

A woman after my own heart…

sally

Really, Daddy?

Jack

Just an expression, little girl, don’t get excited…

She laughs as they continue down the midway.

Amanda

It’s chilly tonight.

Jack

There’s a freeze warning. The orange growers are in a tizzy. They’ll be burning the tires tonight…

Amanda snuggles a little closer for warmth.

72  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/dance hall tent – night    72

They ENTER a tent a where pair of cowboy-shirted, Wrangler-wearing white boys are belting out a rap song up on stage.

The AUDIENCE isn’t quite sure of the dance step.

continued

72  continued                                              72

sally

I love this song!

jack

This is a song?

Suddenly, a loose pig dashes across the stage getting tangled in cables and knocking over lights as it runs in circles.  The audience thinks this is part of the act and laughs as the cowboy rappers try to continue their act in the middle of the mayhem.

Their performance is drowned out by screams as a cow rips through the sidewall of the tent and stops to snort and stamp. Her eyes are glowing red and green fluorescent cud drools from her blood-smeared lips.

cow

Moo.

The audience is at first unsure then decides to scatter, bumping into each other and knocking down tent poles.

The cow rears up on hind legs and begins firing green milk from her udders in Gatlin gun fashion. Victims of her dousing scream as acid milk burns their flesh.

Jack

Let’s get out of here!

He picks up Sally and slings her over her shoulder.

jack

To the truck!

sally

What about Jasper, Daddy?

jack

I’ll come back for him.

sally

Promise?

jack

I promise…

They dodge falling poles and flying chairs as he rushes them outside.

73  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/midway – night             73

The midway is filled with crazed confused people. Shots are fired.

Stands and tents are sent crashing down by stampeding people followed by a stampeding herd.

Jack looks for a way out. He spots a row of carnival trailers.

jack

This way! Hurry!

They jump out of the way of the onrushing crowd and take off for the trailers.

74  int BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/jasper’s stall – night     74

A STALL ATTENDANT lays face-down in the hay.

Massive portions of his flesh have been removed.

Jasper chews the top wooden rail in half and leaps over the top to freedom.

75  ext BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/carnival trailers – night  75

Jack and the girls cut between two trailers and crouch down.

POV: the fair has turned to madness. Fires are breaking out. Drunken Cowboys are firing off shots.

76  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/ferris wheel – night       76

Two COWBOYS with rifles jump into a seat side by side. Their BUDDY pushes a lever into gear.

ANGLE: as they rise, the Cowboys are taking pot shots at the crazed cattle below.

77  EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/midway – night             77

A COW stumbles temporarily when a bullet catches her.

continued

77  continued                                              77

She looks up and spots her attacker high in the Ferris wheel seat.

She makes her charge. She is joined by other cattle as she runs.

A bloody-lipped calf bawls for its lost mother.

78  ext BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/carnival trailers – night  78

Sally gasps as she watches the Ferris wheel roll a few revolutions down the midway and topple to its side.

The Cowboys are thrown to the top of a tent and slide to meet their deaths beneath trampling hooves.

A pair of cows is at the edge of the fairgrounds, eyeing the trailers and sniffing the air. The cows start their charge:

jack

We’ve got to get to the truck, now!

The cows are nearly upon them. They jump up to run.

The trailer is rammed by a set of barbed, jagged horns and is knocked to its side.

Jack, Sally and Amanda race across the field.

A cow sniffs the abandoned Teddy bear.

79  ext BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/parking lot – night        79

The cows are chasing them at breakneck speed. Amanda reaches into her bag as she runs and pulls out the pistol.

She spins and fires.

The bullet bounces off the skull of a demon cow with a shower of sparks. The cow stumbles and falls.

jack

What are you doing with that?

She re-aims…

continued

79  continued                                              79

amanda

I had a little trouble earlier…

…and fires and the other cow is no longer a threat.

amanda

…but I took care of it.

JACK

I can see that!

In the background: all hell is breaking loose. A panicked crowd exits through the fair gates, spreading out in all directions with Sheriff Cooter and his boys leading the pack. Fires light the night.

Cattle leap over turnstiles, nipping at the flesh of those trapped against steel barriers. Screams of terror are drowned out by constant mooing.

Cows tip over pickup trucks as terrified cowboys try to drive from the parking lot. A GROUP OF COWS stand nose to nose in a huddle, planning an attack.

jack

C’mon! Let’s get out of here!

He turns, looking for his truck.

Amanda

Follow me!

She takes off. Sally is close on her heels.

Jack

Wait! I don’t think the truck is…

He tries to catch up.

The cows that Amanda shot are standing and shaking it off. They snort and sniff the air for human flesh.

80  int jack’s pickup – night                              80

They are out of breath. Jack turns the ignition and slams the truck in reverse, nearly smashing into another panicked cowboy.

continued

80  continued                                              80

He works his way out of the parking lot, dodging cattle and people and pickup trucks.

jack

We’ve got do to something!

He pulls out his phone and punches in a number with his thumb.

jack

(Into phone)

Hello, Phil? Jack Farnswood here… I want you to get every cowboy in this county over at my place ASAP!

He has to swerve to miss yet another cow in the road.

jack

(Continuing)

Yes, that’s right. Anyone that can ride a horse get over there now! We’re going to have a round-up!

He pauses to slam the brakes. A nearby cow trots to his stopped truck. He punches the gas and swings the truck around stopped vehicles, smoking tires.

jack

You heard me right! I’ll be there in an hour.

81  ext BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/parking lot – night        81

A cow that rears up, showing her fangs and tries to block Jack’s exit.

He slams into her and she lands in a ditch on temporarily dazed.

82  int jack’s pickup – night                              82

He looks over his shoulder at the ditched cow.

The cow rises, shakes her head, and tries to catch up with his truck.

continued

82  continued                                              82

sally

We’re going to round up all the crazy cows, Daddy?

jack

Hold on, honey. I’ve got to make another call…

He punches in another number.

jack

Hey, Sarge! This is Jack. I need a favor…

Amanda places her hand on his arm and moves a little closer.

Sally notices with a small smile.

83  ext bull county road – night                           83

Jack’s pickup barrels down the country road. Fence posts are knocked over. Barb wire litters the highway.

Every head of cattle in Bull County is out wandering around. Jack is dodges them left and right.

A semi-trailer cattle carrier lies on its side with its side-gates torn open in shreds. Escaped cattle munch on the drivers remains pushing and shoving and fighting for the tasty parts of a human being.

Freezing drizzle starts to form.

84  INT WKOW TV NEWSROOM – EVENING                         84

Deena Concepcion Langley, wrapping up the evening news, introduces RANDY SKYEZ, WKOW weather man.

deena

And now, after that bit of strange news, we have our ever-charming weather blitz expert, Randy Skyez.

Randy isn’t nearly as charming as Deena lets on:

continued

84  continued                                              84

RANDY SKYEZ

Hey, y’all. Well, you better dig out your old goose down underwear tonight, folks, ‘cause it’s going to be a cold one!

The screen behind him flashes the forecasted freezing temperatures.

randy skyez

Do you own a set of goose down underwear, Deena?

The camera cuts to Deena.

She quickly composes from a scowl.

deena

In your dreams, Randy.

Back to Randy:

randy

Ooo… thanks for the visual, Deena. That I didn’t need.

Into camera:

randy

How low will we go? Right after this:

A scrambled screen dissolves into freezing rain.

85  EXT Weaver cattle feed plant - night                   85

Jack pulls up to a locked gate. He gets out of his truck and shakes the gate.

There’s no way to break the massive lock.

He notices F.U. Weaver’s limousine parked at the dock. He shouts into the night:

jack

F.U.!!

He jumps back into the truck and backs up, ready to ram the gate.

86  int jack’s pickup - night                              86

Jack revs up the engine, pushes in the clutch and grinds it into first. Sally tightens her seatbelt.

amanda

What are we doing here?

Jack

Weaver Cattle Feed. Hang on!

amanda

No wait!

Jack

What?

amanda

(to Sally)

Trade places with me, honey.

sally

Okay.

jack

Now what?

Sally takes off her seat belt and climbs over Amanda. Amanda slides next to the passenger door. She reaches to the floor board for her bag and takes out the pistol.

jack

Oh, no.

She rolls down her window, leans out and fires a shot. The lock drops to concrete and the gate slowly swings open.

amanda

Now you won’t scratch your paint.

jack

Quit showing off. Roll the window back up. It’s cold in here.

sally

Wow, Daddy! She’s way much better than…

jack

Don’t say it.

The girls laugh as he pulls slowly through the gate being careful not to scratch his rusted-out farm truck.

87  EXT Weaver cattle feed plant - night                   87

Jack backs up to the dock and gets out.

jack

Y’all wait here. I’ll find Weaver.

He goes up the dock ramp and pushes a button on an intercom speaker mounted next to a roll up door.

F.U. Weaver answers.

f.u. Weaver

Who is it?

jack

Jack Farnswood!

f.u. weaver

Jack? Hold on…

In the background: a cow meanders in through the open gate, unseen.

There is a jangle of keys and F.U. Weaver raises the overhead door. He tries to find the switch to the dock lights.

Close up: he pushes the switch to start the conveyor belt in motion. Weaver Cattle Feed starts flowing into the drying bin at the end of the line.

f.u. weaver

What the hell?!!

He finally finds the right switch. He sees Jack.

f.u. weaver

Jack? What are you doing here?

He tries to shut down the machinery but can’t find the off switch.

f.u. weaver

Oh the hell with it. Let it run. We’re behind quota anyway. What do you want, Jack?

In the background, F.U.’s DRIVER HURRIEDLY EXITS his office with an armload of briefcases so full of money, bills are falling out. He freezes at the sight of Jack.

continued

87  continued                                              87

jack

Going somewhere, F.U.?

f.u. weaver

You know me. I have business all over the state. And what’s your business?

jack

I just need a truckload of feed.

f.u. weaver

Is that all? I’m always happy to accommodate a good customer.

He opens a key lock box mounted on the dock wall and hands Jack a key.

f.u. weaver

Look here. You go down there to the end of the lot to that block building. Take all you need.

He points to the noisy machinery behind him.

F.U. weaver

There’s plenty more where that came from. I’ll just bill you next month’s bill. No charge for after hours.

jack

Thanks, F.U.

He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a wad of bills and forces them into F.U.’s hand.

jack

But I’ll pay now. Add this to your collection.

He gives a nod to the Driver who drops yet another wad of bills.

Jack goes back to his truck. F.U. goes back to the switches. He succeeds in shutting off the dock light but causes yet another overhead door to open.

f.u. weaver

Oh, the hell with it!

continued

87  continued                                              87

He turns to the Driver who is standing there still, dropping money on the floor, and further irritating him.

f.u. weaver

What are you doing standing there? Get back in there and repack my money!

driver

There’s too much boss…

f.u. weaver

Then put it in a feed sack, for God’s sake. Why do I have to think of everything around here?

driver

‘Cause you’re the boss, boss.

F.U. pulls out a fat cigar. He looks over his domain, proud of the machines that make him money.

F.u. weaver

You’re right. I am. So move your ass. I want to leave in ten minutes.

f.u. weaver

You got it, boss.

The Driver moves his ass. F.U. scratches his and starts to walk around the plant.

88  EXT Weaver cattle feed plant/parking lot - night       88

A small herd has gathered in the parking lot.

The scent of Weaver Feed leads them one by one up the ramp.

89  int jack’s pickup - night                              89

Sally catches sight of the column of cattle making its way up the ramp.

sally

Daddy! Look!

Jack turns around.

continued

89  continued                                              89

jack

We’ve got to hurry! Come on! Y’all help!

amanda

What about Mr. Weaver?

They jump out of the truck. Jack goes to unlock the padlock.

90  EXT Weaver cattle feed plant/parking lot - night       90

Jack opens the storage door. The feed is piled high.

jack

He’s alright. He’s probably in his office counting money by now. Besides, he owns a whole plant of Weaver Cattle Feed. That’s all they want. I just want to get out of here before they find this little stash.

sally

It stinks so bad!

jack

Well, just hold your nose and let’s get to work. Drop the gate and jump up in the bed.

Sally is surprisingly strong and able to keep pace, stacking the sacks nice and neat.

91  int Weaver cattle feed plant - night                   91

F.U. Weaver is wandering around his plant. He is fascinated with the motions of equipment going through the processes of creating the feed that bears his name.

He stands amazed at the precision of the robotic arm that automatically unzips body bags, dropping the rotting bodies into exactly the right spot.

He is hypnotized by the rhythm of the blades that slowly slice the bodies into tiny parts, a slice at a time.

continued

91  continued                                              91

In the background, cattle trot closer. They move quicker as they get nearer to the source of that wonderful aroma.

F.U. senses motion behind him and turns just as he is knocked over into the churning vat of gooey Weaver Cattle Feed.

He screams as blades slowly pass and slice off pieces of his body one part at a time.

Cows hang their heads into the vat and eat their fill, dodging the blade as it passes.

From the rear of a large heifer, the partially-eaten face of F.U. Weaver is expelled and plops to the floor.

92  EXT Weaver cattle feed plant/parking lot - night       92

The girls are already sitting in the cab. Jack slams the tail gate shut and jumps into the truck.

He squeals tires out of the parking lot with a truck piled high with Weaver Cattle Feed.

93  int Weaver cattle feed plant/office - night            93

The Driver hears a loud moo. He looks up confused.

Suddenly the walls of the office are crashing down. The Driver is knocked to the floor.

Cattle step through the wreckage to satisfy their craving for flesh.

The terrified Driver tries to scoot back from them, sliding across the floor on his butt.

His legs are the first things to go.

94  EXT Weaver cattle feed plant/parking lot - night       94

A few head have discovered the feed storage building.

The building teeters then crashes as a massive milk cow pushes her girth through the small door.

The cattle kick wood and concrete aside as they dig through the rubble for the feed buried beneath.

95  EXT Weaver cattle feed plant/highway – night           95

The moon shines brightly on a cold crisp night. A flock of geese are heading south.

A line of bloody-mouthed cattle walk single file down the right side of the road.

96  EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/BARN YARD - night                   96

Every cowboy for a hundred miles has shown up for Jack’s roundup. Their anxious horses are unloaded from trailers and saddled.

Honey Babe dodges hooves and yaps at the excitement.

Amanda and Sally are in the background passing out bags of Weaver Cattle Feed.

Sheriff Cooter and Jack have a conference:

Sheriff Cooter

I don’t know why you didn’t call me on this first! I’m the law around here!

Jack

I did, but you were too busy hauling ass out of the fairgrounds!

Suddenly, a pair of National Guard helicopters appears overhead, further exciting the horses.

Cowboys grip tightened reins as the choppers lower to the ground.

Two SQUADS of PARATROOPERS EXIT THE CRAFT and line up in formation, standing ready.

Sergeant Cantrell runs up to Jack with CAPTAIN RICHARD CODY, company commander.

Jack and the Sergeant exchange handshakes and slaps on the shoulder.

SGT. Cantrell

Jack, this is Captain Cody. This is his third day back home from country.

Jack considers it an honor. He gives a solid handshake.

continued

96  continued                                              96

captain cody

I’ll leave these two squads of men under your orders. You know the terrain and you have the plan. You can split them up anyway you see fit.

sheriff cooter

Excuse me, there, lieutenant. I believe you boys are stepping into my jurisdiction.

Deputy Chuck walks up with radio squawking.

captain cody

The United States is my jurisdiction.

deputy chuck

He’s got you there, Sheriff.

Sheriff Cooter puts his arm around the deputy’s shoulder and leads him away.

sheriff cooter

When I’m in a conversation, you need to wait your turn. Now… where’s your brother?

deputy chuck

I don’t know. I ain’t seen hide or tail of him…

They head toward the Sheriff’s cruiser. Deputy Chuck tries to wipe dog mess from his shoe as he walks across the lawn.

Honey Babe smiles at the mess he’s made.

In the background: fire trucks and Humvees are added to the mix.

captain cody

As I was saying, we’ll take the choppers and lead you to the herd. Sgt. Cantrell will be in constant radio contact. We have traps and nets in our equipment. You can set them up in strategic points and we’ll airlift what we can’t herd in.

continued

96  continued                                              96

jack

I like it. Let’s do it!

The Captain rushes back to the choppers. Dust blows and they’re gone.

Jack calls for attention from his volunteers. Only a few take notice.

The Sergeant passes him a megaphone.

jack

You guys think of everything.

Sergeant Cantrell

Airborne!

Jack accidently pushes the siren button on the megaphone. He is immediately noticed.

jack

(Into megaphone)

Sorry… I know it’s cold out here tonight so I’m going to make this short and sweet. The plan is simple: once we locate the herd, we’re going to take Weaver Cattle Feed and make a trail that will lead them to a steel-reinforced corral.

A COWBOY raises his hand.

Cowboy

Where is this steel-reinforced corral?

Jack

We’re going to put that together while we wait for the herd to be spotted.

cowboy

We have time for a project like that?

jack

With all these god damn cowboys we have out here tonight? Please!

The other COWBOYS wouldn’t have asked such a question.

continued

96  continued                                              96

cowboy

Then what? I’ve seen them myself. We ain’t gonna be able to control them once they get hungry, that’s for damn sure.

COWBOY 2 speaks up:

cowboy 2

You got that right! Those sons of bitches will eat right through a piece of steel. I’ve seen ‘em do it!

Jack nudges Amanda up front.

The Cowboys like what they see. Whoops and whistles.

jack

That’s why we have Dr. Hollingsworth here. She is going to sedate them and keep them that way…

Cowboy 2 isn’t quite convinced.

cowboy 2

I beg your pardon, miss, but how in the hell are you going to drug all these demon cows? They’ll tear you apart.

She gives a big smile.

amanda

I was hoping you’d ask…

Pete McIntosh and a crew of nerds from Seminole College appear loaded down with Hudson sprayers and towing a large wind fan.

amanda

My research team in Seminole College did a chemical breakdown on Weaver Cattle Feed and developed what we hope will counteract the aggressive behavior in your cattle. It won’t last forever but at least it’ll calm them for a while.

Pete McIntosh gives a couple of long strokes on the pump handle.

97  EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/corral - night                      97

MONTAGE: Jack leads the team as they unload steel rails from the back of an Army truck.

A group sets welding equipment along the fence line. A generator is fired up and sparks are flying.

Amanda and Sally work with another group strapping on feed bags across the backs up nervous horses.

Honey Babe has yapped himself to sleep in the middle of all the commotion.

Sgt. Cantrell receives a report on his radio:

sgt. cantrell

(Into radio)

Yes, sir. I will pass along that information.

He pulls out a map and shows it to Jack.

In the background: the corral has been constructed and equipment is being stowed away.

Jack pulls out the megaphone.

jack

Okay! Let’s mount up!

The Cowboys whoop it up as they jump on the backs of their horses.

Jack approaches Amanda and Sally.

jack

You mind holding down the fort until I get back.

amanda

Of course not.

Amanda approaches close to Jack.

amanda

You be careful, okay?

continued

97  continued                                              97

jack

Okay.

He looks at her for a couple of seconds then decides to go for it.

Their lingering kiss receives cheers from the Cowboys. Sally smiles happily.

They part and Jack is embarrassed but quickly recovers:

jack

Okay! Let’s go get ‘em!

cowboy

Looks like you just did!

The Cowboys laugh. Now Amanda is also embarrassed.

Jack mounts up and spurs horseflesh. Riders follow him into the nearby swamp.

98  ext swamp – night                                      98

The choppers do a flyover shining spotlights down through the trees.

A single file line of cattle trudges through the muck to a grassy clearing.

99  int helicopter – night                                 99

Through NIGHT VISION EQUIPMENT: The herd gathers in the middle of the clearing. Radio transmissions blare:

pilot

Roger that. Twenty-eight point oh seven north, and eighty point forty-one west.

He continues to circle the area.

100 ext swamp – night                                      100

Jack and Sgt. Cantrell consult a map. The sergeant indicates the position

continued

100 continued                                              100

sergeant cantrell

Right here…

jack

Okay. I know exactly where it is. We’re ten minutes away.

He turns his horse and takes off down the trail.

Suddenly, his horse stops and refuses to continue. The other horses fidget and backup.

A Rider is thrown to the ground. His horse runs away.

jack

It’s no use.

He dismounts.

jack

We’re going to have to walk in.

They tie up their horses and move deeper into the swamp with sacks of feed heaved over their shoulders.

101 ext swamp/clearing – night                             101

A cow raises her head and sniffs the night air.

With a snort she trots off into the swamp.

102 int helicopter – night                                 102

The spotlight illuminates the lone cow as she moves through the swamp.

Another pair has taken up the scent and follow.

The light pans across treetops and stops on Jack’s slow-moving crew.

pilot

(Into radio)

You’ve got some beef headed toward you, Sergeant…

The trio of cows is picking up speed.

continued

102 continued                                              102

pilot

…and it looks like they mean business!

More cattle leave the herd move into the swamp.

103 ext swamp – night                                      103

Jack and his boys are knee-deep in muck and mud, hacking through dense growth.

sergeant cantrell

(Into radio)

Roger that!

(He turns to Jack)

We got get the hell outta here! They’re headed this way!

The Cowboys are ready to run and a couple of them do.

jack

Okay, wait! We’ve got to keep our heads. They’ve picked up the scent of the feed, so let’s make our trail, one sack at a time. Starting right here.

He takes out his knife, slices open the sack and pours a line of feed on the ground.

Sgt. Cantrell follows suit.

The Cowboys and Soldiers empty sacks, drawing a line in the direction of the corral, moving as fast as they can.

The crew freezes at the sound of a scream.

Jack

Let’s move!

They do.

And another scream.

104 ext swamp/dense area – night                           104

A silhouette of a RUNAWAY COWBOY attached to the horns of an ANGRY DAIRY COW with a FULL MOON in the background.

She gives a proud moo.

105 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/corral - night                      105

Jack’s crew appears at the edge of the wood line running for their lives.

Jack is the last in line, trying to make the feed stretch the rest of the way to the corral.

sally

There they are!

Amanda

Sally, run to the house!

sally

I want to watch!

amanda

You can watch from the window. Hurry!

The little girl runs as fast as she can. Deputy Chuck dashes to his cruiser, jumps in, and locks the door.

The herd appears and Jack runs into the enclosure, spilling the line of feed behind him.

The entire herd follows him in and the gate is slammed and secured.

Jack barely makes it over the fence to safety.

The herd is pissed. They roar as they ram against the steel causing it to shudder.

Their eyes flash with anger and frustration.

sergeant cantrell

(To Jack)

You think it’ll hold?

jack

I don’t know for how long…

In the background: the choppers make a descent.

Amanda is ready with her crew.

Jack

Okay, Doctor. Do your thing.

continued

105 continued                                              105

amanda

Everyone in this area will have to wear these masks.

Pete McIntosh hurriedly starts passing them around. Cowboys remove their hats, secure their masks, and replace their hats.

Amanda

Turn on the fans!

The fans have been position in strategic points around the corral. They blow across the backs of the cattle.

Amanda’s STUDENTS stand ready with sprayers.

She raises her arm then drops it. A mist of Amanda’s concoction settles over the cattle.

They start to settle down, one by one. Their eyes lose their fiery flow. Fangs retreat.

Jack is in the background, directing fire trucks in position next to the corral.

The herd is calm. The fans are disconnected and masks are removed.

amanda

(To Jack)

I’m not sure how long they’ll stay like this, maybe only a few minutes. Do what you have to do, now.

Jasper bellows from the edge of the fence.

Jack

Hey boy! I sure hate to put him down.

amanda

I’d like to take him to my research center, if possible. Maybe we can find a cure. Sally can visit him there.

Sally approaches carrying a small stuffed toy bull.

continued

105 continued                                              105

sally

Could I?!!

amanda

Of course, you can…

jack

Anytime you like.

Jasper is removed from the corral. Soldiers strap him to a harness attached to the helicopter.

Sally pats his head and says her goodbyes.

Sheriff Cooter approaches.

Sheriff cooter

Okay. You’ve got the herd. Now what!

jack

Now we put them in deep freeze!

He turns to the FIRE CHIEF:

jack

Ready?

The Chief is more than ready.

fire chief

Just give the word!

jack

Okay, Chief. Hose them down!

Fire hoses completely soak the animals. They huddle tightly trying to stay warm.

Ice begins to form on their coats. Their nostrils become clogged. Spittle hangs in ice sickles from their lips.

The mooing slows and stops. The herd has become a solid chunk of frozen beef.

Cowboys throw their hats into the air in jubilation.

Jack lifts Amanda from her feet as they swing around and kiss.

Sally jumps up and down in glee, clapping her hands.

continued

105 continued                                              105

In the background: Jasper is lifted into the air. Sally waves goodbye to her old friend.

106 ext swamp – night                                      106

The chopper appears over a line of trees and flies low over a small lake.

Suddenly a huge gator leaps from the water and tries to snatch Jasper with open jaws.

As the gator comes up, Jasper reaches down and clamps its head in his jaws.

As the chopper continues to the horizon, Jasper spits out the gator and sends it crashing into the swamp.

dissolve to:

107 int bully burger restaurant – six months later/day     107

Jack and Amanda hold hands sitting at the table. They wear new wedding bands.

Sally sits opposite, devouring a triple-decker Bully Burger.

Jack notices her appetite.

jack

I’ve never seen tear up a burger like that, Sally. It must be a good one…

She looks up from her burger and smiles. Her canine teeth seem a little longer than normal and have a slight, greenish glow.

the end